It’s was 1982 and I’m stationed at 29 Palms, California. Just got out of Grunt training and been transferred to Communication school where I was going to be trained basically to be a frickin operator only difference it was supposed to be some top secret bullshit all I needed was to wear a dress and I be set. Anyway, I discovered that we had a cornfed bully in our barracks, who wanted to be discharged from the military by starting fights with practically anybody and today he decided to pick on me! Well...that wasn’t going to happen, so I stood up to face him and even though he was a little taller than me I wasn’t taking any of his crap and he backed down after seeing my defensive posture...the chicken-shit.
I was all fired up from the ordeal so I took a walk with one of my partners and headed to our local bar to cool off during this time, I was eating a bag of hot peanuts and telling him my story with the cornfed bully when these two grunts came walking by on the other side of divider that was covered up by some large bushes and talking loudly. I got so agitated by their big mouths that I yelled for them to shit-up and threw a single peanut to ward off my aggravation thinking that the peanut would bounce off one of the bushes, but as luck would have it, the damm peanut miraculously flew across the bushes, across the divider and struck one of the grunts right in the face. He hollers something at me and came across the divider (bushes and all) followed by his buddy, Andre The Giant, and confronted me, “Did you just through a peanut at me?”
I had the bag of peanuts in my hand, but I still had the nerve to say “No” so of course the grunt knew I was lying and just for info these grunts get pretty damm rowdy when they return to base after humping some mountains for a few months ( I should know I was a grunt for two years) and he was about to distill his hostilities on me because of a stupid peanut! He tells me some shit and made a few threats and, of course, I returned the favor because everybody in my frickin barrack were watching us then the dude points toward a small ditch and said, “Lets go down there and settle this!” I’ started to walk down the ditch, but I noticed Andre The Giant was coming along with us and they both were carrying hunting knives in their utility belts so I decided to fight the son-of-bitch where we stood, “Naww, l ain’t going down there!” I said.
Suddenly the asshole said “ Lets do it then” and pushes me in the chest, but he noticed I didn’t budged a inch,which looked like it kind of spooked him a little because he had a drastic turn of attitude and started apologizing, “We just came back from an exercise and we’re still wand up.” He then stuck his hand out and we shook hands, “Sorry about the hassle, some smart-ass threw a peanut at me and that’s all I needed to get crazy...you take care Marine. (He told me this when I was still holding the damm bag of peanuts in my hand!)
The moral of the story is “Be careful what you throw at someone no matter how small the object is especially if it’s a damm peanut!
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