LAST TESTIMONY

At the front entrance of the golden gates of heaven stood three eager men waiting to enjoy the richness of the promised paradise.  

God turned to U.S President Abraham Lincoln and asked, "What have you done for your fellow man?" Abraham humbling replied, "I paved the road to end slavery!" The Good Lord said, "Unfortunately, Mankind manipulated your un-selfished ideas to the American Civil War, which ended over 750,000 human lives!"

God turned to Physicist Albert Einstein and asked, "What have you done for your fellow man?"  Albert humbling replied, "I developed the theory of relativity!"  The Good Lord said, "Unfortunately, Mankind manipulated your genius talents to facilitate the development of the Atomic Bomb, which ended over 120,000 human lives!"

God turned to Comedian Jerry Lewis and asked, "What have you done for your fellow man?"  Jerry crossed his eyes and replied in a high squeaky voice, "I made people laughed!"  The Good Lord said with a big smile on his face, "The greatest gift ever given to Mankind!"

Rest In Peace...Jerry! 1926-2017

ANOTHER PASSING

My beloved Aunt, Rosa Balderas, died on Sunday, July 30 while sleeping in her bed, which is the style that I would choose for my last day on this planet...whenever that is.  She lived a full life at age 77, but she kind of went into seclusion after my cousin, Peter, passed away from Hodgkin’s disease.  In the early years, my Aunt was full of life and enjoyed helping my Uncle, Efrain, support their family of three daughters and two sons.  My father, Cruz Sr. and Efrain were brothers and we were a very tight-knit family, in fact, we all lived on the same street along with my Grandmother, Demetria, who treated us with authenticated Mexico/NuevoLeon-style home cooked meals toppled with salsaita de mero chingun  for flavoring.  I recalled during my adolescent years, which according to my wife, I’m still living it, how my Aunt and Uncle would staged plays of a quarreled, but yet silly couple just to get a laugh out of me every-time I visited, which was practically a everyday occurrence and they were pretty good at it too.  My Aunt would act as the aggressor waving a fist with her hands and say things like, “Now listen...viejo...I told you to make me some comida and it better be good or else you are going to get it mister..you hear me!” and my Uncle would played it off and pretend to act defenseless and say, “Ok...ok...geeez” and then we would all laughed it off.  Almost on every weekend our families would get together and celebrate something or another...you know...like other typical Mexican families do, but these were special times because they were ours as we once were...in fact, I still have the photos of a small party that my Aunt threw for me when I was leaving to the Marines...I really missed those days!   Unfortunately, my Grandmother, my Father and my Uncle are long gone and now my Aunt Rosa, who have never been the same person after the death of her son in 1992, which saddens me because she was always full of warm sunshine and fun every time I entered their home as they would stage out another act or play once I was inside. 

I’ll be missing you, Tia, and I am so sorry that I had not visit you before you went to the other side, but these days it has been very difficult for me to get around lately.  I love you and please say hello to my Father, Tio, Abuelita, Peter and Melissa and tell them that I miss them and love them greatly.  Good-bye Tia...I’ll never forget you and I love you..from your nephew, Cruzito. 

New Driving Requirement For DMV Driving Test

The Department Of Motor Vehicles announced today of a mandated driving requirement that will be included in the (FFDL-22) driving test by the year 2019.  The Off-Road Homo-Sapien Collision maneuver will be added along with the routine left and right turns, safe lane changes and straight-line backing.  The driver will be tested how accurate he/she can drive off the road and run over pedestrians!

YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY!

One day I went for  a drive with my partner, Devon Popovich, to his brother-in-law’s residence, Mario, which was in the outskirts of Orange Cove.  We talked for a few minutes and in the middle of the conversation, Devon mentioned to Mario, “You know he’s from O.C too” and Mario replied,”Yeah...I know,” which startled both of us.   “Oh...so you know Cruzer then?” asked Devon.  “He jumped me one time when he use to be with the Deacons” he replied.  I was dumbfounded! Because, in the first place, I was never a Deacon, which was a local street gang in O.C even though a lot of their members grew up on my street and we went to school together, in fact, their president lived across the street from my house, but I had my own click and I never became a active member of their gang. but yet Mario was adamant that I, along with several other Deacons, pulled him and several of his friends out of his car and robbed them on Main Street, which was dead center of town.

I backed away a few steps, “Man you are sadly mistaken” I said, “Believe me I would of remembered this...I don’t play that way...dude.”  Devon had this look on his face as if he was thinking to himself,  “Awkward...maybe I should of had him wait in the car instead!”  I continued to plead my innocence until he said, “Yeah...you told me to stay down and pretend that you robbed me so that the other guys wouldn’t do anything to me!”  Suddenly I had a flashback, “Oh shit!” I thought, but Mario had his facts all twisted up because he and his buddies were really wasted that time.

He had his friends had just came out the pub that night, which was a small bar located at the end of Main street, and they were whooping and hollering out loud as they were walking...(actually stumbling) home.  Me and my two buddies, who I will call David and Lupe, had drank a case of Budweiser and a fifth of 80% Bacardi each and David had the genius idea of doing something risky like break into a store or into someone’s home, at that very instant, along came the three stooges singing Vincente Fernandez’s songs at the top of their lungs.  Against my wishes, David convinces Lupe to mugged these guys so they each confront one on one and the pouncing began. The third guy takes off running down the street yelling for the cops, “Policia...Policia” and David yells out, “Cruzer don’t let him get away!” so pendeho me was able to tackled him down, and he was in a total panic as I pinned him to the ground,  but I immediately told him, in Spanish, that I was not going to hurt him, which gradually brought him back to his senses.  I didn't want the other guys to see that I wasn’t doing anything to this guy because I feared for his safety, so I pretended that the Police were coming, “The cops...the cops...we gotta go!” and off we went.

“That was you...huh?” I said shamefully.  “Uh huh and now you’re a cop?” said Mario.  “I was stupid back then” I replied,  “ I’ve made better friends along the way” and I pointed toward Devon.  “Obviously” he replied, “Anyway...thanks for the handout."  “Yeah don’t mentioned it” I said.

Several years later while on patrol, we had a barricaded subject at the John-Henry’s lounge in Dinuba on South L street and the suspect was a old home-boy of mine, who was drugged up and armed with a handgun.  He had become upset because the bartender discontinued his tab so he waived his weapon around and demanded to be serve.  During the standoff, he asked for me by name, “ I’ll surrender to Cruz only...don’t bring anybody else in!”, so there I go waltzing inside, but I wasn’t really worried because I have known Chung King for quite sometime, in fact, he was relieved to see me, “Cruzer!...man...I was hoping you were working bro” he said, “Man...I’m so glad to see you...I told myself...the only way I going to come out is by having a fellow Deacon take me in.”  “Deacon!” I replied as I placed the handcuffs on him, “Shit...did I robbed you too!” 

CONGRATULATIONS TO MY GIRL!

Congratulations to my daughter, Sara Marie Balderas, for receiving her bachelors in Psychology, which was held at the PETCO stadium in San Diego on Saturday, June 17, 2017.  So proud of you...mama!  It was a beautiful ceremony along with great weather, good food and lots of people!

COOL FLICS FOR THE MONTH OF JUNE

In Theaters
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (pt-2)-sci-fi comedy/thriller-staring Chris Pratt & Zoe Saldana

Redbox
FIST FIGHT-Outrageous dark comedy-staring Ice Cube
THE WALL-semi-horror film with ugly-ass giant insects-staring Matt Damon

Netflix
TROLLS-good cartoon for both the children and adults
DR. STRANGE-marvel comic hero

REAL-ESTATE INQUIRIES PT. 2

One day as I was sitting at the benches by our apartment’s swimming pool reading my accounting text book, someone came up to me and asked, “Hey Cruzer...why are you taking college classes aren’t you retired?”  At first I thought “Well isn’t it obvious!” but actually this was an interesting question, so I thought it over for a few minutes before answering.  “Hmm...why am I studying...I mean...afterall I’m retired for Christ’s sake!”  Then it all came back to me, “Oh my two girls...that’s right, Rosita and Haley, who are now attending Fresno City College.”  I received an associates in General Education back in the late 90’s, which was only done because the Pd. gave a pay raise for every college degree earned and then I told myself, “Ok...I’m done with it!” but then my two girls came along and looked in my school files (how dare they) and discovered that I only needed a few classes to get my degree in Accounting (which is one of the hardest motherfucking classes I’d ever taken in my life!) so they nonchalantly confronted me, “Oh...so you preach to us about not giving up..huh...and what about you!”   

Needless to say, I went straight to Fresno State to go for my 4-year degree and they told me that I needed to go back to city college...can you beat that!  Here I was thinking that I was done with community education and I later find out that I still needed about six more classes just to enter FSU!  So now I’m close to the end and in the process in obtaining another 2yr degree (this time in Business Accounting) and most of all setting a example for my two girls, Hanzel & Gretel, who are actually becoming my competition, which kind of makes studying fun, but actually there is no such thing as too much education because that’s one thing that no-one can ever take away from you...think of it...you can lose the ability to walk, talk, see or hear, but as long as you can think with your mind...you can practically accomplish about anything...just ask Stephen Hawking and his bank account plus using your mind is a good combative source to fight Alzheimer’s, Dementia and other senile diseases, thus, explains the reason that I now possess a real estate broker’s license, which brings up another subject...real estate investments.

A young lady came into class the other day complaining about the high price of renting in the decent part of Fresno, which is roughly between $850-1,200 a month ( I know... it’s practically a house payment...right!).  Now I’m constantly (with the help of different sources besides the WEB) conducting research on real estate trends and new developments, and several of Fresno’s real estate experts speculate that for somebody to survive owning a home and maintain it, for example, pay the monthly mortgage of $1,200 for a $150,000 home, electricity, water, groceries, clothes, cellphone, cable, property taxes, car payment & insurance plus any repairs acquired, medical, dental, vision & life insurance and recreational expenses, a person or couple must make roughly about $53,000 a year, where the median of a suitable job in the valley is about $30-35,000 a year.  And the worst thing about this scenario is that there is a major assumption that both house values and apartment rates are going up every year with the back and fourth restrictions on home loan accessibilities and rising interest rates added with increase unemployment hikes and a rapid declining financial economy. So what is to be done...Cruzer to prevent us from taking our hard-earned money from our wallet and putting it into the pockets of these rich apartment owner(s)!  

I realize that there are many young couples, who are barely starting in life, either sharing a apartment with another couple to split the expenses or living with their parents to save up.  For example, there are these four couples that I know, who are each renting a $850 2-bedroom apartment for the past three years, which is a total of $30,600 and have nothing to show for it except a non-cash incentive in their state income tax form.  Only the men work in this group because their young wives are trying to study for better careers and taking care of their babies.  Now each man makes roughly $29,000 a year and are on their 2nd year of employment with low scores on their credit report due to lack of any other financial obligations.  

The thing to do here is for these two guys to gradually build their credit scores to at least 750 for a decent home loan with workable closing escrow cost or perhaps a FHA loan with low closing costs and down payment and stay employed for a minimum of two years than merge their income together, which is approximately $58,000 yearly, to qualify for a roomy residence...let’s just say with a monthly mortgage of $1,400  that’s $150 less than a $850 two-bedroom apartment, but that $30,600 goes straight into their equity instead of throwing it away, which in several good years quickly doubles.  Now if they decide to depart from one another then they can simply sell the house, split the profits and get their own home with the proceeds plus now each has establish credit to get another loan.  If one party wants to keep the house then he/she can refinance and buy the other party out.  Renting the original house is also another option whereas the monthly payments can be used in a payment of another mortgage payment.  (This is how many people get into the house business) But you need to act fast before the inflation cycle starts up again and turns everything upside down, which has been proven by history, so whenever you’re ready...call me!