In the early 1990’s, I was on patrol when I heard dispatch send a emergency vehicle to my mother’s residence for a bleeding victim, so I quickly activated my overhead lights and responded there even though it wasn’t my call. When I arrived, I saw several fire trucks parked upfront and, as I rushed inside, I noticed my Mother and my sister, Mari, in tears and staring down the hallway toward the main restroom. I asked them what was going on, but they were too emotionally traumatized to answer me, but then I noticed several firemen crowding the restroom and had formed a semi-circle around a little girl, who was sitting on the restroom counter, and I immediately recognized her as my 3-year old niece Olivia or as I like to call her my little “Oli.”
She didn’t have on a shirt and there were dry blood stains on her chest and belly, so I made my way through the crowd to see what was happening with her and I asked one of the firemen, who indicated that she was bleeding profusely from her nostrils, but they were able to stop it by applying pressure to the bridge of her nose with a ice pack. I could tell Olivia was feeling a little intimidated by the firemen because her little body was quivering and she immediately reached out to me when she saw me. “Come here..mama” I said as I scooped her up in my arms much to the amazement of the firemen because they had no idea that I was related to her and I brought her over to the safety comforts of my Mother and my sister.
After years of medical appointments and extensive examinations, the doctors diagnosed Olivia with advanced stages of cancer and in urgent need of a new liver. One day, I found her laying on my Mother’s bed and she seemed to be very deep in thought, so I sat next to her and started to gently massage her back, at the same time, silently praying for my magic fingers to work out a miracle and perhaps make her disease disappear from her tiny body into the thin blue air. “What’s wrong baby?” I asked her. “Oh nothing” she sadly replied, but I knew she was not being totally truthful with me as if she actually knew what was really wrong with her despite her very young age.
Unfortunately, my magical fingers didn’t work, but my prayers did and Olivia received a new liver at the sacrifice of another child, who died in a fatal auto accident. At least the child’s life was not taken in vain nor a total tragedy because Olivia was able to continue a healthy active life and even graduated from high school where she excelled in the arts and crafts and even planned to pursue her skills professionally.
Then on December 29, 2012 at approximately three o’clock in the morning, I was spending the night at my sister’s house because my family had gone on a long trip to New Mexico and there was a sudden knock on the front door. There stood a Highway Patrol Officer and Deputy John Bautista, an Officer I worked with before, and they were asking my sister if Olivia was her daughter. When she asked why, the Highway Officer simply replied, “She’s been killed in a car accident.” I didn’t know how to react....I just stood there in silence and in shock while my sister, her husband and my nephew embraced each other in grief and wept uncontrollably. I suddenly remembered about my daughter, Rosita, who usually hung around with Olivia and I nervously asked Bautista of her welfare where he told me that she had been transported to Community hospital by helicopter, but was in stable condition. I had to break the sad news to my poor wife, who traveled 25 non-stop hours to be by her daughter’s side while they surgically implanted 5 steel rods and 50 screws on her back, which eventually gave me some relief because I knew ultimately she would be alright especially with the soothing support of a strong family, but as for my little “Oli” she was gone...her beautiful smile...her charismatic personality...her talented skills...gone...forever! She was only 19 years old.
Several years have gone and Olivia’s family and close friends managed to resume life without her, but I know deep in my soul that my mother’s and sister’s heart slowly deteriorated a small piece at a time as the days went on. Then on December 28, 2015, I was feeling a little groggy after kidney dialysis and was involved in a vehicle accident where I collapsed on the center console and blood started to overspill from my mouth because I had damaged one of my lungs. I couldn’t feel my arms and legs and, at that point, I lost my will to live because I didn’t want to further face life as a paraplegic, but as I was about to let go, I heard a familiar voice call out my name. “Cruzy”
I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful transparent angel all dressed in white....it was my beloved Olivia! She had her hands clasped together and was on her knees facing the opposite direction on the passenger seat as if she was praying to God to spare this loser’s life. The next thing I know, I was in the back of an ambulance overhearing the paramedic giving out my vitals on his cell phone. I struggled to tell him just to let me die, but I guess he must of taken a extra shot of male testosterone because he replied in a loud scruffy voice “Not on my watch!”
Needless to say, I survived the accident and started to walk again with the help of my father’s walker....my miracle baby had saved me! It is very personally painful for me to write this story, but I feel for those, who cared and loved Olivia, as much as I do, deserve the right to read this. They say that the dead are soon forgotten, but I make one promise...mija...I’ll never forget you. Every night I pray to God for two favors after I die and that is to protect my grandchildren out of harm’s way and to meet Olivia, so that I can scoop her in my arms once again and tell her how much I really missed her. My dear little “Oli” I’ll always think of you until the good Lord decides to expire my time here on earth and beyond. Reluctantly, I have to leave now and lead my family away from a much pretentious world, so I bid you good-bye until I see you again..mama....I love you so very much and thank-you....My Guardian Angel.
Dedicated to my sister, Mari and my Mother, Maria
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