Newsflash: President Donald J. Trump was located this morning by his staff officials lying unconscious in the back yard of the Whitehouse wearing nothing but a smashed sombrero on his head and completely butt-naked. A trickle of blood was found on his right butt cheek and local investigators are speculating that he was either gang-banged by the Whitehouse Mexican gardeners or suffers from a severe case of hemorrhoids!
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